Myself in Public

Freedom Wish List

Freedom. A Wish List for Equality


I came across a blog Freedom Day Wish List dated 24th April 2012, by Cathleen O'Grady. It has since been taken down. It was written with regards the discrimination that women have to endure. I think it was well written and I completely agree with it with regards women but not with its generalisation that only women suffer from such within society.

A failing of Feminism from my point of view. Both genders have issues within society, but humans only look at themselves, not the wider picture. Much can be resolved on a full inclusive and recognition basis. Men have discrimination in this modern society. Not all men are stereotypical males, and just as much as women object to being labelled generally, so do I as a man.

There are some men still set in their ways with sexist views towards women, but then there are quite a few sexist women too and with domineering objectives.

I have written a Freedom Wish List in direct comparison, but I am a man. This is not to criticise hers but simply point out that many people feel discriminated against for various reasons. Unfortunately members of society concentrate on themselves only to a point it is as bad as the attitude of those they complain about.

I have copied and pasted Cathleen's wish list here purely for cross reference. Hers is in bold, black italics.

The freedom to move about my own city, by myself, at any time of day, without fear.

The freedom to participate in life, at anytime of the day without fear, discrimination, sexism under societies negative generalisation of “all men”.

The freedom to wear what I like, without fear.

The freedom to wear what I like, without fear. As depicted on my website.

The freedom to wear what I like, and not have people judging my body as either beautiful or ugly.

The freedom to wear what I like and not have people judging me as being queer, abnormal, paedophile etc. To be able to embrace freedom of choice, preference just like the modern woman expects!

The freedom to drink in the presence of friends and not worry about assault.

The freedom to drink in public and not worry about assault. As a man I am still at risk of being challenged by another testosterone fuelled male even female, especially bearing in mind the points above. I also do not behave like the stereotypical male which also puts me at risk from the intolerant testosterone male even female. There are plenty of aggressive females in this modern era even acting or inciting violence towards others.

The freedom to enjoy a conversation with anyone without wondering whether they are just trying to have sex with me.

The freedom to enjoy a conversation with a woman without wondering if as a man I have an ulterior motive. Society unfortunately stereotypes men as such with a general label without allowing for individuality that women expect from men.

The freedom to wear, or not wear, skirts.

The freedom to wear, or not wear skirts.

The freedom to wear, or not wear, trousers.

The freedom to wear, or not wear trousers.

The freedom to wear, or not wear, hijab.

If I to was expected to wear a hijab I would expect the same, freedom of choice. So often in life being a man I am expected to accept, take on or even do with the message "be a man".

The freedom to wear, or not wear, make-up.

Men should have this option if they wish but those who do are subject to comment, usually from women. I do not want to wear make-up but advocate the rights for those who do. It is doing others no harm.

The freedom to choose my own career.

As a man I have this freedom. In my part of the world so do women. You should too. I assume you are in a culture that is restrictive of women.

The freedom to be a stay-at-home mother and not be thought of as un-feminist.

Men should have this choice without prejudice from Society as many men do experience when embracing a modern expectation.

The freedom to breastfeed wherever my baby is hungry.

This is an impossibility for men! You should be allowed.

The freedom to be fairly remunerated for my work.

All should be fairly remunerated for work done and no gender differentiation for the same roles. I know men who get paid less than women if we want to start comparing differing employments.

The freedom to be financially independent of the males in my life.

You do need to work to achieve this freedom, not the stay at home freedom above.

The freedom to retain my name and identity no matter what my relationship status.

Men have this freedom, so to do women. Perhaps not in the past. - This may be a restriction in your country.

The freedom to have children and not have it stifle my career. With children come responsibilities, less time and more work for both parents feel that children should not stifle a career. Which parents career is stifled depends on their choice and available income to bring in paid child carers. Society still stigmatise the man who stays at home or even reduces career to bring up children.

The freedom to have children with a male partner and not be expected to be the primary caregiver.

The freedom to have children with a female partner and be able to be a primary caregiver without ridicule. Societies labelling of men being traditional so when he adopts a more modern and equal approach to life others pass negative comment.

The freedom never to be treated as an incubator.

The freedom to be open about my sexual orientation without fear of retribution.

The freedom to be open about my sexual orientation without fear of retribution. I assume you consider yourself a biological female as I do for myself being a male.

The freedom never to worry about domestic abuse.

The freedom for the minority of men but on the increase in this modern world, never to worry about domestic abuse - it does happen. I acknowledge this is a fear predominately endured by women.

The freedom never to be intimidated or harassed by men on the street.

The freedom never to be intimidated or harassed by women on the street or in the work place that prejudge me simply because I am a man and they automatically apply to me the failings of some men - and some women. I have experienced this!

The freedom to know that my job is in no way dependent on my looks.

The freedom to know that my job is in no way dependent upon favouritism towards other women when the staff and or management are predominately female. Also the favouritism of a male boss towards a female colleague due to her looks.

The freedom to never again be treated as decoration.

The freedom never again to be treated with contempt in situations that are difficult or affect me emotionally, usually attached with the statement "be a man" or "that's expected because you're a man".

The freedom to assert myself in a relationship without being considered a henpecker or my significant other being called whipped.

The freedom for men who have very domineering partners of which there are many, to assert themselves. (I witness many a woman making sure they assert themselves over their male partner. All relationships should be equal in all aspects).

The freedom for the men in my life to explore and express their masculinity in their own way.

The freedom for men to be able to do that without ridicule either by Society or their partner. Eg, I know of men who would like to wear skirts but wives/partners do not agree yet wear trousers. With regards me, my wife agrees but if I get a giggle or look when I'm out in public in a skirt it will be a woman in trousers and other male style clothing 99% of the time.

The freedom to have, or not to have, sex with my husband.

The freedom for men to have or not to have sex with their partners. Not all men insist on sex. Many a woman in the world are as sexually proactive as many men are.

The freedom to go on a date without sex being expected.

The freedom for a man to go on a date without thinking that the woman before him labels men before her as wanting sex. (I don't and I didn't. I have had women put in a 'proviso' when I have offered help/assistance)

The freedom to freely and legally use contraception.

Some countries do restrict this but I understand that such a restriction applies to male contraception as well. If not, then there should not be a problem here. I assume you are in a country that does not allow contraception.

The freedom for my children to have my surname.

I agree, but it should be a joint decision of both parents, double barrelled surnames will soon become unwieldy in the next generation. Expecting female only surnames makes you as bad as the male insistence.

The freedom to marry whomever I want, when I want to marry them.

I agree. Cultures, religions and governments have no right to dictate in this situation.

Additional freedoms I add:

The freedom to be able to talk and associate with children anywhere without the perception of women thinking, "man, must be a paedophile". - I hear such comments on discussion programmes and body language of people who do not know me. They do not apply it to women and there are paedophile women we have a few here in the UK! It may still be mainly men, but the fact that some women do it, applying the logic towards men, how do we know the next woman isn't a paedophile!

The freedom to be treated equally as a man with a woman in divorce cases (I am not divorced or have been) with regards legal obligations and exceptions. A lot of the time it is not the man that is at fault even though Society portrays this. - Fathers for Justice in the UK one example.


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